Wrong Turn 4, 2011

Yup.  It’s as bad as you thought it would be.  Although I will never write a review that begs you not to watch a movie or read a book, what I will try to do, is help you determine whether it is worth your dime and/or your time to do either one.  Personally, I watch and read a lot of frogs knowing that eventually the prince will be worth it — even if someone else told me not to.  That said, Wrong Turn 4 is definitely no prince.

If, like me, you were happily surprised by the first film, you have probably been hoping that eventually they would get around to figuring out what worked in the first film and gee, I don’t know, try to use the same formula or something.  Alas, that is not the case with Wrong Turn 4.  Instead, this movie felt like some studio executive let his 14 year old, barely literate, horny nephew write this screenplay (actually, it was Declan O’Brien, but close enough).  Yes, it’s really, really that bad.

So okay.  The film is a prequel, starting off in 1973 in a sanitorium (which according to the movie should not be confused with a sanitarium, but whatever) in West Virginia where our cannibal friends are incarcerated as teenagers.  Not much happens here except, wait for it… they escape and let all of the other criminally insane patients out of their cages.   Flash forward 30 years later to 2003 and some teenagers just itching to go skiing (which in teen-speak means drinking, drugging and having sex) but instead get lost (hence their Wrong Turn) and end up at the supposedly now abandoned sanitorium.

It is at this point that things start to go even further downhill than just bad acting and rampant clichés.  First, you have two semi-normal characters (Daniel and Kenia) who seem to sort of have their shit together (meaning, they weren’t high and actually noticed that something bad might be going on).  The rest of the cast was completely and totally expendable to the point where, once again, I found myself rooting for them to die.  Painfully.

Don’t get me wrong, I wanted the cannibals to die too, as they totally should have once the group had them locked in a freaking cell.  But noooo, 50% of my semi-normal character team (Kenia) had to go and get all preachy about the evils of killing, so naturally the cannibals eventually escape and kill everyone.  For this reason alone, I spent the remainder of the film thinking up creative ways that Kenia should bite it, but unsurprisingly her death was way too quick and painless.  Unlike this utter horror of a movie.

RANKING NOTE:  IMDb users ranked this steaming pile of manure 4.4.  No offense, but anyone who thinks this film deserves more than a 1.5 is either high, a horny teenager themselves or more likely, both.

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