Yes, I’ll admit there is a bit of anger in my soul recently based on the fact that almost every single dang horror/sci-fi movie I’ve wanted to watch recently I’ve had to pay for. Keep in mind I’m subscribed to Shudder, Amazon Prime, Hulu and other pay channels.
So when I went recently to watch (well, re-watch for about the 5000th time) the movie “The ‘Burbs”, I was surprised and shocked to find that not only was no one carrying it, but I couldn’t even buy it from Amazon. WTF?
Anyway, I digress and will have another post on how we are totally getting hosed by some pay channels later. This post is about the movie “Possessor”.
Do yourself a favor and do not pay for this piece of shit. Don’t get me wrong, the visuals are very good as well as the acting. But believe me when I tell you that you’ve seen this before and done that as the entire premise of the movie is of someone taking over the brain and body of someone else. Geez, where have I heard and seen that shit before??? Insert massive eyeroll right here.
Pretty sure I’m going to get a rain of shit for this but honestly, the only reason everyone on-line is jocking this movie is because it’s directed by David Cronenberg’s son whose name I could put here but don’t care enough to do so. I suppose if you really like Cronenberg and want to give his son a pass for some recycled bullshit, then have at it.
Personally, I want my 9 bucks back for having pay for and then sit through 45 minutes of boring as I had to eventually concede that the movie just sucked. So, I turned it off and put on the Dawn of the Dead 2018** remake in order to stay awake.
Ya know, that 45 minutes could have been used as awesome nap time but here we are.
**Just so you know, I took a lot of lip for that as my long suffering husband had to watch that movie about a year ago but swore it was just a few weeks ago.
Yes, he was a Badass Cat but in the best sense. He took no shit from anyone (including me) and would hiss, scratch or bite you if you pissed him off and most of the time you didn’t even know what you did to incur such wrath from such a handsome cat. He also would not let you go into the bathroom in my old apartment (my mom and husband can attest to this) for some reason that made serious sense to only him. (My theory on this is that when I took a bath, he would sit on the side of the tub and watch over me — so that was our time and he did not want anyone to interfere with that. Who knows?) He would let you pet him for a few minutes and then either would walk away annoyed or scratch you for having the audacity to deign to touch him in the first place.
Based on this description, you would think he was well – just a cat and acting like one. That is where you would be wrong. Gizmo was unique from the moment I brought him home as a mere baby (he was about 6 weeks old, adopted from a friend of a friend whose cat just had a litter). Before I adopted him, I was newly divorced (almost anyway), living in a new strange apartment and coming home from work everyday to an empty shell of a home. It had no life and the feeling of emptiness was palpable. It sucked on toast.
Fast forward to a few months later and I am driving home in my Jeep with this little black furry thing that I had no clue how to handle. I had no carrier yet so he was crawling all over the car and me the entire 40 minute drive (at one point I had to stop him from getting under the clutch!). Love started right then. He was inquisitive and unafraid – two traits he never (thankfully) outgrew. We got back to the lifeless apartment and as soon as his four little paws hit the floor, suddenly – life came to that dull, empty place.
Once, while having a party (I lived on the bottom floor and having specifically told everyone NOT to let the cat out) he got out (of course! He was Gizmo!). I almost had a heart attack. Anyway, this little guy had managed to get to the parking lot and was under a car crying his little heart out. So, I crawled under the car to retrieve him (yes, several scratches and bites were endured during said rescue operation) and managed to get him home safe and sound. This is the same cat my husband and I could not find in the house and spent several hours driving around and calling his name thinking that he had gotten out again and only goodness knows what had happened to him. We found him later hiding inside our couch in the basement. He was a little shit like that. But he was my little shit.
When he was younger, he would also sit outside of my bedroom door and cry to be let in while I was trying to sleep. Understand that I wanted him with me (and those cries hurt my heart) but he had claws, I had a waterbed and he liked to jump from the bed to the headboard, thus causing several leaks which had to be patched in the middle of the night. Needless to say, I relented many, many times and did a lot of patching of holes. I let him in once again and woke up in a puddle of water. I slept on the floor that night with Giz by my side, purring.
Anyway, long story short, we found out that he had diabetes and needed to receive insulin shots twice a day. If you have read this far, you know this was daunting, but we loved him so much we did it. We gave him fluids in his tushy. Giz of course was no fan but he endured because he was a fighter. Then we found out he had a “flipped” stomach (who the heck even knew that existed? We sure as heck did not). We cried a lot and paid for the surgery to have that fixed. Our little fighter bounced back – again. No thanks to the ER Vet Hospital who told us we had to pay in advance for what they thought they might do ($$$$$) or they would let him die. No kidding and they said that to us with a straight face. We spent hours on the phone trying to get credit to have them save him. In the end, we just pulled the trigger and went into debt with a different credit card as the “animal credit card” people also suck and would not give us enough credit for the “possible” amount we may have had to pay. It’s worth noting that we have very good credit and our cat was possibly dying while all of this was happening.
I do suppose thanks are due to the person who actually performed the surgery – but you know the company you work for and their practice of doing that to people is bullshit. Ugh.
We did eventually have to take him to another ER Vet clinic for a different issue and it was not that one thank goodness. If you have an animal who is in distress, please do not take them to the clinic in Bowie, MD. Just my humble opinion (but if you Google “Shitty vet clinic Bowie MD” they are the fourth choice that shows up – Dogs and Cats Veterinary Referral). Just saying.
In a nutshell, Gizmo was aptly named after the little guy from Gremlins. He was unique, strong, lovable and a fighter. He fought back on everything that his little body threw at him and kicked its ass every time. So much so that even while at the Vet, at 18 years old (88 in human years!), in arthritic pain and had cataracts was giving me his paw and still trying to get up – knowing he couldn’t – but he still tried.
If only we could all be Badass like that. This is really a very short story about a cat who deserves a novel. A cat who was much more than that to those who loved him and still do.
It’s taken me almost two years to post this and as when I wrote it back then there were too many tears. Now, there are still tears when I read this, but at least now I smile when I see his picture on the fridge instead of cry.
Love and miss you Giz. Who’s the cat? You’re the cat!!!
Okay, so I too saw the adverts for “Veronica” the movie dubbed recently as maybe the “Scariest Movie Ever” by some writer. Not sure which website I read that indicated that (it was early on Saturday morning and frankly, I read a lot of stuff each morning) but it was enough to get me interested. Yes, it’s in Spanish with sub-titles, but that’s not a deterrent for me – in fact sometimes it’s an enticement and this was no different (although the advertisement photo left a lot to be desired).
See what I mean? Not very interesting. But hey, they tried.
Anyway, this movie was directed and co-written by Paco Plaza, the same man who also co-wrote and co-directed “REC” along with Jaume Balaguero and Luiso Berdejo. “REC” was a great movie only to be made into an American remake (“Quarantine“) which just sucked on toast.
After reading a few reviews I was instantly hooked at wanting to – no – needing to see this movie. Even though I knew I was being manipulated in so many ways, I did watch this movie just to see if it lived up to the hype. So yesterday I watched “Veronica” on Netflix. This blog post is a direct response from said film viewing in an effort to save you from the same manipulation and disappointment.
Is it a decent movie? Yeah, sort of. If you like horror movies – been there, done that. YKWIM.
Is it a great movie? No. But it is watchable and enjoyable if you don’t go in expecting too much.
Is it the “Scariest Movie Ever”? Hell’s to the no. Not even close. Even those of us who understand that Spanish horror films have a lot of Satan references and get why, this was not by any stretch of the imagination anything close to scary.
Unless you are afraid of a young girl who may or may have not (this is so ridiculous I can’t believe I’m actually typing it) had her period and has to clean up her bed and sheets after (maybe? supposedly?) being attacked in her sleep by a demon. No, I’m not kidding. The movie actually tries to make you wonder if it’s the demon or her period who caused the blood on her bed. To quote Shrek: Really, really.
If you think about it, which unfortunately I have, they honestly try to make you believe that a girl having her period is the same as or at least equivalent to her being afraid of her period or being attacked by a DEMON. You just can’t make this shit up.
This may be why Rotten Tomatoes liked it so much – it probably reminded them of Ashley Judd who they just love. I’ll just stop now as the memory flash back of Ashley at the “Women’s” march is actually scary. Just eeww Ashley. Not to mention TMI. But I digress and refuse to link the clip. The period references are enough already. So on we go!
Honestly, I’m not sure why I spent about two hours watching a movie that Rotten Tomatoes gave five stars and a 92% rating – I should have known better. Anytime Rotten Tomatoes likes something it should be avoided at all costs as it always ends up being a movie that sucks but has lots of SJW shit to make themselves feel better (or feel just anything is my guess really). But darn it all to heck, I was curious.
So I did watch. Much to my shame and regret. Here’s the breakdown (LOTS OF SPOILERS):
Girls (three) play with (guess what?) a Ouija board.
The glass pointer (a small glass) breaks, one of the girls screams and her mouth gets really big as in picture she just saw in her class. (Note: she seems already weirded out just from seeing the picture in class prior to the Ouija session)
The other two girls now want nothing to do with screaming girl.
Screaming girl has a dead father who she thinks is coming to her naked (or something) and a mother who is working so much she has no clue what is going on with her four children (Screaming girl, two sisters and a young son).
Screaming girl wakes up to a bit of blood in her bed (see above) after nightmare about her siblings eating her alive. This narrative of her siblings eating her alive, is actually understandable. The blood well – not so much. Again see above.
Screaming girl finds a blind nun who is no help AT ALL but whatevs, she’s blind and a nun so that should be scary! (Not at all)
Screaming girl finds mold under beds in the shape of a man/creature.
Screaming girl freaks out and tries to hold another Ouija board session with little siblings (great idea Sherlock) which ends badly (again, no shit Sherlock).
The stealing of effects from “Signs” was just in poor taste and obvious.
I would really like ~2 hours of my life back.
The only other thing I can think of that may have resulted in the fave reviews of this boring, overdone to death of a movie is that we are supposed to figure out that all of this may have only been in her mind.
Alas! She is the oldest daughter in a single mom household and has to take care of her younger siblings. This of course is so rare and horrible (they had food and apparently enough money to give “Screaming Girl” braces”) it would drive any young lady to imagine that she is possessed by demons and see her naked fathers ghost. Why her father was naked no one knows, as he is presented as loving and kind in the film. Another sick reason why those at Rotten Tomatoes probably loved this mediocre at best flick. Ugh.
I actually loved this movie and will have to watch it several more times to really get it completely. That being said, as I do not normally give spoilers, you need to know this very important fact going in: virtually the entire movie is filmed from a first person shooter perspective. Meaning, if you have ever been to Dave and Busters and played a shooter game or like me, have House of the Dead on Wii AND the gun to go with, you know of what I speak.
In terms of Hardcord Henry, we never actually see Henry, but hell yes he is HARDCORE and even though I have never even seen Henry, I love him still the same. He kicked ass and didn’t bother to take names for very good reasons. Now normally, this kind of movie would have annoyed the hell out of me (NOT a fan of hand held camera movies) but this one hooked me like no other. In the end, it’s really your choice (my husband hated this movie while I was clapping at the end – in our living room I might add) to watch or not to watch. My only opinion is to take a chance on this flick- you just might like it.
It’s true and there are several in my head (including one about a dog which really pissed me off and likely you too) that will be here soon. Work doth suck the time away but I promise a new reveiw (or two) will be posted tonight. In the meantime, enjoy the links below. PS: If the use of curse words offend you, this is NOT the site for you. If so, crawl back into your trigger safe space of momma’s basement and/or boobies. I really do not give a damn if your feeewings are hurt by what I write.
Hey fellow horror/sci-fi fans! Sorry it’s been so long but work does tend to take away from my ability to type and rant freely. Nonetheless, I have been keeping up with the books and movies that should melt all of our hearts this year, and no I ain’t talking about any chick flicks!
What brought me out of hiding, was a movie called “It Follows”. If you liked the film, go ahead leave this site and go back to checking out Facebook, as you may have already guessed that I did not enjoy the film. But that’s not really the reason for my rant; it’s the lies told about this film that have me mad as hell.
If you have read any of my previous posts, you know I’m not generally a review reader – rather I watch or read and decide for myself. This time I broke my own rule and paid for it — dearly. It was Saturday night and my husband and I were looking for a movie to watch, I of course was looking for something scary. Upon looking up the “Best Horror Films of 2015” a website which I will not list here had it at number 1. NUMBER 1. I thought “Dang, it must be good!” AND I followed the advice of the ratings on other sites. Hence, my other half and I paid 7 bucks on video on demand, turned down the lights and made popcorn to watch “It Follows”.
My personal stuff aside, about 15 minutes in I started saying out loud “Something needs to happen..” and “It needs to pick up..” Well… it never did and myself and my husband suffered through the WHOLE. DAMN. THING. Mainly because we spent 7 bucks on it but also in the hope that the ending would shed some sort of battery-is-low-but-hopefully-it-will-last-until-we-die kind of way. But no, the movie just cut to credits with no explanation of shit.
Don’t get me wrong, I knew during the entire film that metaphors were flying all over the place; I just didn’t expect either the films producers OR the dumb (and most likely paid for) reviewers to think their viewers were stupid enough to actually enjoy this pile of steaming crap.
So in closing, only watch and God forbid pay for “It Follows” at your own risk. On the upside, I re-watched “Don’t Blink” and it’s still as great as ever.
Often, when looking for a book on Kindle or the Amazon website, since we are all human (based on a genetic code I sometimes wish I could exorcise), what always pops into focus for yours truly are the star/number reviews given to that body of work. To be clear, if you have ever read any of my reviews, you know I don’t rely on other opinions (or stars, numbers, etc.) prior to writing my reviews. However, those little stars and numbers DO have an impact on most of us in one way or another. This is my true story of being totally pissed off by one of them, so I decided to write The Four Star Book Review That Ticked Me Off.
In case you were wondering what it was that prompted this diatribe, it was the Amazon review star factor of 4 — for a book that I didn’t just love, but have — and here’s the key — remembered for years after I read it. Every avid reader knows that you might slightly enjoy and finish the bad ones (if you’re feeling generous), have a good time with the good ones, but you remember the great ones. The great book I am referring to is “The Descent” by Jeff Long.
Before I get going again, I highly encourage you to read this book. If you enjoy a story that begins a bit benign, then takes you down a dark, creepy pathway and then shoots you in the butt — this book is for you! It’s kind of like a funhouse on horror factor X.
So okay, here’s the little bit I’m gonna give ya. Hell exists, only it’s been below us all this time and we never knew about it until we went down and found out about it. Okay, that’s not the greatest description, but I don’t want to ruin anything for you. Bottom line is that this book makes you think about what Hell really is. And who is down there lurking… and waiting for you.
I know I didn’t give you much to go on — but that’s part of the fun isn’t it?
PS. I admit I read this book years ago, but I wrote this review from memory. Still own it on my Kindle, so I will be re-reading this bad boy soon. Very soon. To me, it’s like a warm and fuzzy sweater in the back of the closet I forgot I had and now must wear again to feel right with the world.
A SPECIAL PSS: To those “readers” who gave this book 1, 2, or 3 stars on Amazon — either you need to have your eyes checked or your ability to recognize a great book when you read it. On a side note, you also suck if when writing a book review you ever picked on: the “character development”, “wasn’t what was expected”, “had too many curse words”, or my favorite to hate “had grammar problems”. You DO realize that someone else created a work of art for you to escape into a fantasy world that THEY created for YOU. I hate to be crass, but FUCK YOU if you expect perfection on their grammar (some of these authors SELF PUBLISH — look it up how much editors cost!) or even worse have the audacity to sit dwn and write a review abut how mnay times thye used the work FUCK. Oh hey, FUCK, FUCK oh and then they really FUCKED! (NOTE: My little rant does not reflect what is in the book “The Descent”, just for the record. It is only this readers complete annoyance at asshats who think that because they are offended while reading something they can put down screwing up an authors review online. Just sayin’)
When I saw this book on the shelf in my local grocery store, I thought to myself “Ya’ know, you haven’t paid a lot of attention to “popular” writers lately, so maybe you should get off your high horse and check it out”. Well, that’s not exactly how my thought process went, but it’s pretty close. Ergo, I went home, went on-line and looked the book up.
When I logged in, I discovered that it was an audio book, and that they have become somewhat less expensive these days; I was used to purchasing the CD’s for a fortune. So I said “What the heck!” — it’s James Patterson and a book that seems interesting as the tag line on the inside of the book in the store was: “This time, it’s not zombies.” I admit: on that, they had me.
Now on to the review. In an effort to keep this short, sweet and to the point this book depressed the hell out of me. To be sure, there was a lot of science (none of which I have even attempted to verify) and great story telling. The problem with this book is simply that there was a lot (and I do mean a lot) of MAN HAS DONE SOMETHING TO KILL THE WORLD!!! in it. There are also a few shots taken at Fox News Channel which I found totally perplexing — at one point the narrator/protagonist says about a female Fox News Anchor — “The blond bimbo said…”. I mean REALLY? As a female and a thinker, it takes quite a bit to offend me, but this was just over the top (and I’m a red-head!).
To be fair, if the character in the story had a background that called for such views, I would have accepted them in stride and perhaps even applauded them for building the character and the readers view of him/her. Unfortunately for this book, no such background existed, unless we are to infer that because the protagonist owned a chimpanzee, he loves animals and everyone at Fox (or who watches that channel or might be a blond bimbo) does not. Jeez.
Fox News and blond bimbos aside, the main reason I did not enjoy this book is because of the obvious pulling of heart-strings (which in some books is an excellent idea) and complete and total let down at the end. Don’t get me wrong. I have read, listened to and enjoyed many works that do not have a happy ending. However, this is the first, especially by an Author I really used to enjoy, using such low-down tactics to push his own view-point onto his readers in such a way — and then have the nerve to charge them for it. At least Stephen King, like it or not, was honest and forthright when he wrote and published “Guns”.
UPDATE: By the way, the “hero” of this story left his chimpanzee when he went to go off to do this own thing. This is a poor chimpanzee who loved and depended on his owner (who the chimp looked at as a father/protector) was left in the dirt by our supposed “hero”. Just FYI.
For instance, who knew “Wrong Turn 4” would be so interesting to people?
New Year’s Resolution: Post more reviews and follow more great blogs and writers.
HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!
Hope you rock it out and gross out at least one person describing a book or movie you have enjoyed!
Here’s an excerpt:
A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 5,200 times in 2013. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 4 trips to carry that many people.
U Wanted 2 C 